Important Topic

This is not a happy topic, but it is a critically important topic.  Usually, when a person hears the term “assault” or “molestation,”
rape initially comes to mind first.  Both sexual assault and molestation have a much broader scope than rape.  To understand that,  one needs to view the entire arena of sexual assault on a continuum.  That continuum spans from non-touching offenses such as obscene phone calls and dirty jokes to the violent offense of rape.  The common denominator of all offenses is coercion; that being a person is forced to participate in acts against one’s will.  Other offenses on the sexual assault continuum are indecent exposure, sexual harassment, child molestation, incest, sexual exploitation, and pornography.

I share this today because where I live has lots of long country roads full of trees on both sides. That is where the “assaulters” take their victims (male or female).  They are then drugged, used, and left to lay on different dirt roads until someone finds them.  Some are so damaged they die on the road.  All this is true.  I’m a Certified Sexual Assault Advocate and I trained for over a year on this expansive and complicated topic.

Some of you readers might be wondering why I chose to post this.  I did it for two reasons.  One good, one bad.  The good one is to make sure any and all abuse is reported to the police if you know or suspect any type of sexual abuse occurred to you or anyone else.  The bad one is this. Women tend to let their guard down much easier than men do.  It’s a good idea to have a “screamer” in your pocket and use it if you have to – don’t ever think it can never happen to you because it can and it does.  Yes, there are many cases of men being raped – it can, and it does happen to men.  Guys also need to be alert if they go out alone.

I lived through eleven years of assault and molestation – I pray no one ever touches or harms any of you; male or female.  If you need to talk or share, email me at debbie@dengelmann.com.

Be aware – Be safe

Dr. Deb

 

Worried Minds

We don’t often make choices from our heart,
we make them from the mind space which governs
our lives that tend to keep us small.

Our worried minds usually are not on our side. Anything that favors fear over love is not an ally of mine. If 60-80% of our daily thoughts are negative, how the heck do we learn to make decisions based on what is truly best for us rather than the easiest. Why do we avoid making choices based on fear?  Albert Einstein so eloquently said,

“I believe in intuitions and inspirations…
I sometimes ‘feel’ that I am right.
I do not ‘know’ that I am.” ~ Albert Einstein

I think that’s bang on. When choosing between two options, decisions are generally based on the deeply instinctual knowing we feel in our gut or heart. The outcome of “knowings” benefits the journey our life path has taken us. Actually, the body is one of our greatest and wisest guides. However, we must recognize that some of our wisdom can be misleading, especially when our chitter-chatter begins to start a rampage in our minds.  We have deep instinctual callings that are soul-driven. Being drawn to that type of energy is ultimately our best opportunity to expand personal knowledge.

I have become very intimate with the undeniable value and wisdom of mind chatter when it chooses to speak to me rather loudly at 3 am in the morning. That’s my higher self communicating that it is time to start my daily tasks (or maybe it’s just teasing me).  My inner guru — the “me within me” knows it’s about time for my early morning visitor, Oy the cat, so he can joyfully jump on my chest – all 15 pounds of his Pedigree Pixie Bob body.

“We have five senses in which we glory and which
we recognize and celebrate, senses that
constitutes the sensible world for us.
There are other senses — secret senses, sixth senses
if you will — equally vital, but unrecognized, and unlauded.”

~Oliver Sacks~

Question
How can we distinguish between the wise voice inside speaking truth and
the voice that keeps us small to prevent us from being bold?
AND, MORE IMPORTANTLY
How can I stop my cat from jumping on my chest?
(It’s a good day for humor)

Invictus

The poem Invictus is a favorite of mine.  Hopefully, I won’t bore you by sharing too much poetry.

Invictus
William Ernest Henley – 1849 – 1903

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.

What an immensely poignant poem. I first read this poem in a book that was lying on top of the television I was watching when President John F. Kennedy was shot and killed on May 29, 1917. I was 9 years old, and I already loved to read and write—especially poetry. Poetry is what soothed and healed my soul when, well, let’s just say things got bad for me. That’s why you see a bit of my own poetry on this site.  Thanks for reading; thanks for listening. It’s good to be heard.

Dr. Deb

Toxic Shame

Most of us are familiar with the “feeling” of being ashamed or shamed, and sadly, some experience it at a very tender age. These types of memories haunt the heart and mind for decades. To be without shame is worse than experiencing it because to be shameless or without consciousness, harming others can easily be done to others – without remorse.

Shame is not healthy when it is a result of abuse – it becomes “toxic shame.”  An abused individual believes they deserve abuse. They feel guilty frequently as their “internal” reality becomes riddled with deeply destructive levels of shame about who they are and why. Their self-esteem plummets as the tolerance of their own abuse escalates to levels that become emotionally and mentally unhealthy.  As they get closer and closer to feeling completely out of control, their fear of failure becomes monumental.

Toxic shame can be healed even with its emotional and physical weaknesses, can affect the entire immune system. The digestion process becomes diseased as the liver becomes toxic, the kidneys ache, the pituitary, thyroid, and adrenal glands are weakened. Headaches, colds, heartburn, dizziness, muscle spasms, anger flares, fibromyalgia, joint pain, and more frequently occur as well.

In the natural healing world, illnesses are seen as messages from the body saying, “please help me.”  Understand the body, mind, spirit, emotions, and soul all must be healed together – not separately.  If you or someone you know is experiencing toxic shame, please consider getting help for them or yourself.

You cannot heal alone – ask for help. I know this because, for 9 years, I myself was a victim of abuse.

Dr. Deb

Wicked Winds & Wild Water

The following is a true story . . . I’ll dish it out a little bit at a time if you’d like.

The pin-pricks of itty-bitty ice bullets keep smashing into my skin as my hair wildly flies in directions humanity has not yet labeled.  Damn, it stings; but strangely, the stings feel fabulous – almost sensual.  It’s like getting goosebumps all over your body when you watch a scary movie. I feel alive with it – stimulated in some way. Powerful. Ready to begin anew in what I do. To allow the wind to stoke the fires up that reside in me. For a moment, imagine we are sitting by a roaring campfire chatting about who we are inside our hearts, and about the hidden passion we keep locked away.  If they were released, hopefully, they would allow us to live a life full of joy and self-love.

Inside me, an angel and a dragon are intertwined in mingling parts that mimic a courtship of creation. There is so much mental matter waiting to burst out of the top of my head. My hands want to rip my heart out of my chest and present it to the world – with all its emotional memories of love, hate, harm, hope, victory, and an escalating pitch of anticipation that I’m nearly at the summit of a task that, until now, has been unattainable.

The pumping of my heart feels louder with each beat. Will it explode out of me?  No, I will not allow that. The many years of waiting demands every ounce of my patience and determination – I must wait.  Why am I suddenly so silent at this moment? Because my history demands it.

Calm was never a descriptive word in my life.  For many years, my life was full of tornadic winds, fire, brimstone, dark rivers full of wild dirty water, broken down houses, and feeling homeless within many homes. My life did not provide a healthy structure to flourish and develop upon. There were very few kind, knowledgeable role models in my life that practiced nourishing, balanced, safe parenting. I did not grow up with laughter and hugs. The voices in my childhood were rarely below scream level. Most of the family conversations were garbled and indecipherable because of their copious amounts of alcohol and anger. My parents couldn’t aim for and hit the broad side of a barn normally, but their aim was swift as lightning and straight as an arrow when they decided they needed to slap and hit.

Readers, let me know if you want me to continue this true story……
email me at:
https://debbie@dengelmann.com

Dr. Deb

Bully Brain Sass-Part 1

At birth, the first power center to develop in our tiny bodies is the root chakra, known to some as the “First Life-Force Energy Center.” Its name in Sanskrit is “Muladhara,” which means “root support,” and the Greek goddess of Earth, “Gaia,” empowers it. This very critical energy center governs the physical body, our connection to the earth, and our sense of belonging on this planet.  As we come into our body, we journey into our very first involvement with our tribe, known as the “core family.” During this bonding, we experientially learn about safety, belonging, trust and survival. The state of “becoming” takes place within the first chakra. “Becoming” creates our soul’s stillness, security, and stability.  All life events between birth and age seven help determine whether the first chakra, the foundational base for all chakras, flourishes or shuts down.

Read more

Unfinished Quote

An “Unknown” person wrote the following.

Say how you feel,
leave the job you hate,
find your passion, love with every
ounce of your bones, stand up for
things that matter, don’t settle,
don’t apologize for who you are.
Be brave.

**********************************************************

The above “thought” defines empowerment as a construct shared by many disciplines and arenas – community development, psychology, education, economics, and studies of social movements and organizations.  To “empower” means to give or delegate power or authority; in other words, to enable or permit.  In our current society, the tendency is to give our personal “empowerment” away to other people, rather than using it to live a healthy life.  Self-empowerment is our personal responsibility.  We must personally maintain complete control and accountability for our own life circumstances and choices.  

Conscious healing and empowerment coax the mind and body toward balance.  This effort helps us create a healthy body, mind, spirit, and soul.  Exercise, quiet-time and/or meditation, nutrition, and restorative sleep are a few physical health elements of healing.  Each has a direct impact on our physical, emotional, and mental well-being.  When we choose to step away from bad memories, we naturally discontinue seeing ourselves as victims.  That is when we begin to heal on all levels. What’s the most difficult goal?

To not give it away to anyone.

Dr. Deb

All Shook Up

When shaken, the intense pressure within a sealed bottle of carbonated soda patiently waits for a tiny crack to give way so it can explode.  Repetitive trauma and/or stress weakens the mind, body, and spirit in the same way.  Today’s society is off the charts, with people suffering from high-stress levels and unrelenting trauma. Their body, mind, and soul really want to explode.

Many of the “shaken” folks are First Responders, Doctors, Nurses, Volunteers, Educators, and every-day people from various walks of life. The burdens and fears they bury deep within creates ill-health, traumatic memories, depression, desperation, abuse, isolation, and bullying, to name a few.  Accumulated traumas cause us to lead what Thoreau called “Lives of Quiet Desperation.”  That becomes doubly cruel if life is endured within isolation and loneliness.

Does that all mean we’re no longer healthy? You bet it does.

Please don’t hide your pain and despair….talk with someone who can help.  Please know myself and many others are sending love and light to all the people who only have darkness in their life.

Dr. Deb

Cats & Dogs Flower Essences for Healing

I put this list together quite a few years back.  Flower Essences are easily rubbed onto the paw of your cat or dog to calm them down or help heal them in many ways.  Two drops will work best.  Flower Essences are not harmful – maybe if you drank an entire bottle!

Here’s the BIG list of what helps what in cats and dogs.  Enjoy!  Let me know if you have questions!

  • Arnica: Shock, trauma, illness, injury, surgery. (Bach Flower Remedy)
  • Aspen: Unknown fear or terror in animals, especially indicated when treating wild or nervous animals. (Bach Flower Remedy)
  • Bach Rescue Remedy: For any form of stress or emergency, or when uncertain of which remedy to give. (Bach Flower Remedy)
  • Bleeding Heart: Breaking undue emotional attachments to the caretaker, such as whining cats or moping dogs waiting for the owner to return. (FES)
  • Borage: Lifting the spirit of an animal that may be depressed because of illness or old age. (FES)
  • Chamomile: For barking dogs; emotional upset accompanied by stomach distress such as gas or vomiting.  (FES)
  • Cherry Plum: Extreme tension or stress, such as a terrified animal that is trapped. (Bach Flower Remedy)
  • Chestnut Bud: Instilling effective learning patterns during training; to stimulate the animal’s emotional memory and retain training, not repeat mistakes. (Bach Flower Remedy)
  • Chicory: Especially indicated for younger animals such as whining puppies or kittens; also indicated when the illness might be psychosomatic or to get attention. (Bach Flower Remedy)
  • Cosmos: To encourage interspecies communication; helpful when different animals are gathered; useful when training animals, or establishing psychic bonds in one-on-one relationships; indicated for both animal and caretaker (both take at the same time). (FES)
  • Holly: Jealous pets, especially when jealousy involves another pet vying for the attention of the caretaker. (Bach Flower Remedy)
  • Impatiens: For nervous, “high-strung,” impulsive animals. (Bach Flower Remedy)
  • Love-Lies-Bleeding: Wounded or deeply suffering animal which may not live. (FES)
  • Mariposa Lily: Assisting mother-infant bonding, especially if the animal is being introduced to a surrogate mother; also good for young animals in a new home. (FES)
  • Mimulus:  Nervous conditions in animals; good for jittery horses or shy animals who hide from people. (FES)
  • Penstemon: Illness or trauma gives inner strength during adverse circumstances. (FES)
  • Pink Yarrow: Pets who take on or mirror the emotions of their human caretakers. (FES)
  • Quaking Grass: Helping animals living together in a group or her to adjust; especially important when a new animal has been introduced. (FES)
  • Red Clover: Calming to hysterical animals, particularly cats, can be used effectively when taking an animal to a vet for treatment. (FES)
  • Self-Heal:  Add to almost any combination to stimulate inner healing forces of an animal, awaken vitality and will to live. (FES)
  • Snapdragon:  For animals who bite, specially indicated for aggressive tendencies in horses such as biting or sucking. (FES)
  • Star of Bethlehem:  Abused animals or any animal who has suffered injury or trauma.  (Bach Flower Remedy)
  • Tiger Lily:  For hostile or aggressive cats or dogs. (FES)
  • Vervain:  For hyperactive, overly tense animals.  (Bach Flower Remedy)
  • Vine: For animals that dominate younger or weaker animals.  (Bach Flower Remedy)
  • Walnut:  Before and after a major move; to help break links to old places of residence; also good for animals giving birth.  (Bach Flower Remedy)
  • Wild Rose:  For apathetic, listless animals.  (Bach Flower Remedy)

Dr. Deb

Trauma – How to Heal Naturally

Unfortunately, we humans are currently struggling to handle the effects of widespread trauma in today’s society. Our purpose and even the evolution of the human species in this world never included an owner’s manual outlining a conscious understanding of how to respond to stress and trauma.

As a result, we struggle to identify and fix our trauma as it quickly spirals downwards, making our issues more painful and deeply set.  We fall hard when all the trauma and stress occur because it affects the mind, body, spirit, and relationships.  Our human tendency is to remain strong by smiling even when our deepest ​desire is to scream, cry, hide in a bottle of alcohol, or whatever the distraction of choice may be. Fear and panic then begin to set in.

Many friends, family, and folks you pass by on the street are living with their own private version of stress and trauma that leads to what Henry Thoreau called “Quiet lives of desperation.” But I’m here to tell you that you’re not alone, and there is a natural path to healing – a way to release those “trauma hooks” naturally, safely, gently, and effectively.

When trauma hits, it’s easy to reach for a band-aid fix of something we heard might relieve the stress and misery. Our initial focus is to try anything to take the pain away and “feel better.”  When reaching for increasingly bigger and more powerful solutions, we easily forget to go back to the most powerful route that exists:  The Gifts of Nature.

The primary value of healing trauma and stress with nature-based remedies is there are no harmful side effects.  By using Mother ​Nature’s healing gifts, we quickly tap into the body’s natural healing process.  That’s because herbs contain ingredients that are regularly produced in the body.  We aren’t introducing foreign substances – we are simply adding natural healing companions to our bodies’ own incredible built-in healing processes.

Using a gentle healing path for inner peace is critical because trauma wounds don’t heal how you want them to heal the way they need to. It takes time for trauma to fade and the process of healing to authentically occur. We must be gentle with our wounds – and even more gentle with our heart.

I will be offering a Zoom class for everyone interested in a class titled “Your Peaceful, Natural Healing Process.”  The date isn’t clear yet, but it will be in the next three weeks.  My approach to releasing trauma and stress is natural, gentle, and tailored to your personal needs.  The process will be respectful of your current situation and lifestyle.

My guiding principles are:

Below Are Three Things I Promise You

Genuinely Understanding You
When was the last time someone took the time and care to really listen to you and understand you?  For most people, this is desperately missing. Wholehearted listening is the heart of my work.

Creating Remedies Tailored to You
My husband and I collect all the herbs by hand and source other natural remedies with care. Each hand-crafted remedy is uniquely tuned and matched to what your body needs to obtain optimum healing.

Holding Sacred Space for You
As your body begins to harmonize naturally, you’ll begin feeling more moments of peacefulness. At this stage, we’ll start to gently touch and explore your painful memories and slowly release them.  All classes will be using the Zoom Platform.

Ready to heal? Let me know.  Just email me at debbie@dengelmann.com, and I’ll add you to the list!

Dr. Deb