Important Topic

This is not a happy topic, but it is a critically important topic.  Usually, when a person hears the term “assault” or “molestation,”
rape initially comes to mind first.  Both sexual assault and molestation have a much broader scope than rape.  To understand that,  one needs to view the entire arena of sexual assault on a continuum.  That continuum spans from non-touching offenses such as obscene phone calls and dirty jokes to the violent offense of rape.  The common denominator of all offenses is coercion; that being a person is forced to participate in acts against one’s will.  Other offenses on the sexual assault continuum are indecent exposure, sexual harassment, child molestation, incest, sexual exploitation, and pornography.

I share this today because where I live has lots of long country roads full of trees on both sides. That is where the “assaulters” take their victims (male or female).  They are then drugged, used, and left to lay on different dirt roads until someone finds them.  Some are so damaged they die on the road.  All this is true.  I’m a Certified Sexual Assault Advocate and I trained for over a year on this expansive and complicated topic.

Some of you readers might be wondering why I chose to post this.  I did it for two reasons.  One good, one bad.  The good one is to make sure any and all abuse is reported to the police if you know or suspect any type of sexual abuse occurred to you or anyone else.  The bad one is this. Women tend to let their guard down much easier than men do.  It’s a good idea to have a “screamer” in your pocket and use it if you have to – don’t ever think it can never happen to you because it can and it does.  Yes, there are many cases of men being raped – it can, and it does happen to men.  Guys also need to be alert if they go out alone.

I lived through eleven years of assault and molestation – I pray no one ever touches or harms any of you; male or female.  If you need to talk or share, email me at debbie@dengelmann.com.

Be aware – Be safe

Dr. Deb

 

Embracing A Moment

Oh, drats, Debs, try again. Don’t move this time. Breathe shallow, slowly, silently.  Don’t get lost in the mesmerizing ebb and flow of the twisting kaleidoscope colors frolicking behind the shuttered darkness of my eyes.  Ah… that’s it.  Very good, in fact. Relax into this moment and experience the sweet smell of silence and the taste of anticipation for yet another moment. Yes, this is it. The moment has arrived.

As I took my first somewhat shaky step onto the path of the following adventure, my mind created a succulent flavor for the crowning moment.  A lovely scent was paired with it to enhance the sweet smell of spring’s fresh breeze after a nourishing rain.  All feelings had been carefully wrapped around the taste of the rain as I spun them into a shimmering cocoon called “possibly safe.” The place where both the chance of defeat and/or sweet triumph continued to swirl and blend.

At this point, some folks might point out there seems to be something missing.  An expectation?  A reward of an outcome?  I decided all expectations were carefully avoided, ignored, obliterated, and ground down into tiny pieces to be shared with Mother Earth at a later date. This is about choice…all about MY choice because my timing mattered.

Oh my, the moment is about to arrive. My eyelids begin to flutter a bit as I allow just a hint of light to be seen. Before I open my eyes, I take the biggest and deepest breath of my entire life. I get lost in the feeling of air filling my lungs — I’m almost dizzy.  My body begins to shake just a bit while I consciously unlock my trembling knees, slowly open my eyes, and double-check the plan I created in my mind.  Ah, yes, the color green does hold quite a vivid flavor of “possible success,” alongside the coolness of its wintergreen mint color.  I feel a titillating breeze begin to blow through my hair as I sense the textures of the clothes against my skin – they feel soft yet somehow a bit irritating.

My eyes finally open and connect with my brain as I translate what I see into my childlike comprehension. The following events are forever branded in my soul because words cannot fully express the power of the “next” moment. To do what I did next was a bit risky for a child. I was five years old, and it was my first day of kindergarten. I had already endured several suffocating hours in a room with total strangers while trying to understand the meaningless words the teachers were saying. On top of all that, I had just been released from the hospital after yet another beating from my father.

My survival fully depended on the next few moments. I stepped into the hall, pondered my choice yet again, and decided it was, in fact, my only salvation. The next step was correct, authentic, and absolutely necessary.  I peaked out the door and stepped out into the hallway, looked both ways, and with total confidence I…

reached up and pulled the fire alarm.

It’s amazing how fresh, clean air feels when walls disappear

Dr. Deb

Everything above is true – yes, I really did pull the alarm

The Michigan Courts immediately removed my two sisters and me from
our birth parents and placed us in foster care.
Both parents were not allowed to be alone with us again
– they both died of alcoholism –

Finding Muchness

Muchness?  What the heck is that? In Alice in Wonderland, the Mad Hatter told Alice the last time he saw her, she was “much muchier.” He commented that there was much more self and soul in her then, less doubt, and lots more courage. She actually did have a great deal of courage because she did, in fact, destroy the Jabberwalkie. That Jabberwalkie was the dragon her soul was hiding behind.

I think many of life’s journeys are about building up our “muchness” in order to permanently slay the dragons hiding within. It definitely wouldn’t be an easy thing to accomplish since we humans tend to bury our memories deep within our souls. Those hidden memories are in fact the food that feeds the Jabberwalkie.

Wondering what would be the best plan to get rid of our Jabberwalkies?

Don’t feed them . . .

Dr. Deb

Burning Bridges

A true person is
not anyone in particular.
But, rather like the deep blue color
Of the limitless sky,
They are everyone, everywhere.

Some people are like bridges.
They give more to others
than themselves.

Well, that’s nice, bridges are important.
The problem with being a bridge is,
you have to decide whether
to burn your bridges or cross them.

Dr. Deb

Wicked Winds & Wild Water

The following is a true story . . . I’ll dish it out a little bit at a time if you’d like.

The pin-pricks of itty-bitty ice bullets keep smashing into my skin as my hair wildly flies in directions humanity has not yet labeled.  Damn, it stings; but strangely, the stings feel fabulous – almost sensual.  It’s like getting goosebumps all over your body when you watch a scary movie. I feel alive with it – stimulated in some way. Powerful. Ready to begin anew in what I do. To allow the wind to stoke the fires up that reside in me. For a moment, imagine we are sitting by a roaring campfire chatting about who we are inside our hearts, and about the hidden passion we keep locked away.  If they were released, hopefully, they would allow us to live a life full of joy and self-love.

Inside me, an angel and a dragon are intertwined in mingling parts that mimic a courtship of creation. There is so much mental matter waiting to burst out of the top of my head. My hands want to rip my heart out of my chest and present it to the world – with all its emotional memories of love, hate, harm, hope, victory, and an escalating pitch of anticipation that I’m nearly at the summit of a task that, until now, has been unattainable.

The pumping of my heart feels louder with each beat. Will it explode out of me?  No, I will not allow that. The many years of waiting demands every ounce of my patience and determination – I must wait.  Why am I suddenly so silent at this moment? Because my history demands it.

Calm was never a descriptive word in my life.  For many years, my life was full of tornadic winds, fire, brimstone, dark rivers full of wild dirty water, broken down houses, and feeling homeless within many homes. My life did not provide a healthy structure to flourish and develop upon. There were very few kind, knowledgeable role models in my life that practiced nourishing, balanced, safe parenting. I did not grow up with laughter and hugs. The voices in my childhood were rarely below scream level. Most of the family conversations were garbled and indecipherable because of their copious amounts of alcohol and anger. My parents couldn’t aim for and hit the broad side of a barn normally, but their aim was swift as lightning and straight as an arrow when they decided they needed to slap and hit.

Readers, let me know if you want me to continue this true story……
email me at:
https://debbie@dengelmann.com

Dr. Deb

Third Person Crap

I used to believe when the crap came down
I’d begin to think of myself in the third person
Then I’d step way back and gain perspective.
———————
I used to think our world had freedom of speech
Because history was written by the victors of war
Even as some folks embraced genocidal maniacs.
———————
I’ve now learned controlling generally fails
Because the nature of the universe already knew
What rocks the cradle is arrogance and selfishness.
——————–
I am a descendant of the
strong women you may have forgotten.
For we hold the stories you thought
You could never be taught.
——————–
I’m am blessed with a heart
That was birthed from a wildflower.
Tough enough to weather storms
As I continue to grow and flourish.
——————–
I am a woman with a book and a pen
I have the power to move nations.
I am a woman with a mind and a voice
I have the power to change worlds.
——————–
It appears there is no structure in chaos
As hope barely holds this world together.
You’ve read all of my prose
Pray that hope boldly takes hold.
Dr. Deb

All Shook Up

When shaken, the intense pressure within a sealed bottle of carbonated soda patiently waits for a tiny crack to give way so it can explode.  Repetitive trauma and/or stress weakens the mind, body, and spirit in the same way.  Today’s society is off the charts, with people suffering from high-stress levels and unrelenting trauma. Their body, mind, and soul really want to explode.

Many of the “shaken” folks are First Responders, Doctors, Nurses, Volunteers, Educators, and every-day people from various walks of life. The burdens and fears they bury deep within creates ill-health, traumatic memories, depression, desperation, abuse, isolation, and bullying, to name a few.  Accumulated traumas cause us to lead what Thoreau called “Lives of Quiet Desperation.”  That becomes doubly cruel if life is endured within isolation and loneliness.

Does that all mean we’re no longer healthy? You bet it does.

Please don’t hide your pain and despair….talk with someone who can help.  Please know myself and many others are sending love and light to all the people who only have darkness in their life.

Dr. Deb

Trauma – How to Heal Naturally

Unfortunately, we humans are currently struggling to handle the effects of widespread trauma in today’s society. Our purpose and even the evolution of the human species in this world never included an owner’s manual outlining a conscious understanding of how to respond to stress and trauma.

As a result, we struggle to identify and fix our trauma as it quickly spirals downwards, making our issues more painful and deeply set.  We fall hard when all the trauma and stress occur because it affects the mind, body, spirit, and relationships.  Our human tendency is to remain strong by smiling even when our deepest ​desire is to scream, cry, hide in a bottle of alcohol, or whatever the distraction of choice may be. Fear and panic then begin to set in.

Many friends, family, and folks you pass by on the street are living with their own private version of stress and trauma that leads to what Henry Thoreau called “Quiet lives of desperation.” But I’m here to tell you that you’re not alone, and there is a natural path to healing – a way to release those “trauma hooks” naturally, safely, gently, and effectively.

When trauma hits, it’s easy to reach for a band-aid fix of something we heard might relieve the stress and misery. Our initial focus is to try anything to take the pain away and “feel better.”  When reaching for increasingly bigger and more powerful solutions, we easily forget to go back to the most powerful route that exists:  The Gifts of Nature.

The primary value of healing trauma and stress with nature-based remedies is there are no harmful side effects.  By using Mother ​Nature’s healing gifts, we quickly tap into the body’s natural healing process.  That’s because herbs contain ingredients that are regularly produced in the body.  We aren’t introducing foreign substances – we are simply adding natural healing companions to our bodies’ own incredible built-in healing processes.

Using a gentle healing path for inner peace is critical because trauma wounds don’t heal how you want them to heal the way they need to. It takes time for trauma to fade and the process of healing to authentically occur. We must be gentle with our wounds – and even more gentle with our heart.

I will be offering a Zoom class for everyone interested in a class titled “Your Peaceful, Natural Healing Process.”  The date isn’t clear yet, but it will be in the next three weeks.  My approach to releasing trauma and stress is natural, gentle, and tailored to your personal needs.  The process will be respectful of your current situation and lifestyle.

My guiding principles are:

Below Are Three Things I Promise You

Genuinely Understanding You
When was the last time someone took the time and care to really listen to you and understand you?  For most people, this is desperately missing. Wholehearted listening is the heart of my work.

Creating Remedies Tailored to You
My husband and I collect all the herbs by hand and source other natural remedies with care. Each hand-crafted remedy is uniquely tuned and matched to what your body needs to obtain optimum healing.

Holding Sacred Space for You
As your body begins to harmonize naturally, you’ll begin feeling more moments of peacefulness. At this stage, we’ll start to gently touch and explore your painful memories and slowly release them.  All classes will be using the Zoom Platform.

Ready to heal? Let me know.  Just email me at debbie@dengelmann.com, and I’ll add you to the list!

Dr. Deb