Bully Brain Sass-Part 1

At birth, the first power center to develop in our tiny bodies is the root chakra, known to some as the “First Life-Force Energy Center.” Its name in Sanskrit is “Muladhara,” which means “root support,” and the Greek goddess of Earth, “Gaia,” empowers it. This very critical energy center governs the physical body, our connection to the earth, and our sense of belonging on this planet.  As we come into our body, we journey into our very first involvement with our tribe, known as the “core family.” During this bonding, we experientially learn about safety, belonging, trust and survival. The state of “becoming” takes place within the first chakra. “Becoming” creates our soul’s stillness, security, and stability.  All life events between birth and age seven help determine whether the first chakra, the foundational base for all chakras, flourishes or shuts down.

Interestingly, the adrenal glands, which easily burn out from excess trauma and stress, are directly connected to the first chakra. Experiencing extreme life events can force the first chakra to shut down and “play dead to stay alive eventually.” This natural protective reaction is a powerful gift of paramount importance. In the Bee Gees song “Stayin’ Alive,” one of the lyrics is, “I got the wings of heaven on my shoes.”  Those wings helped me find my way out of hell so I could fly free.

My life was a nightmarish journey into darkness. The bruises, welts, twisted arms, and pulled hair did not cause the most painful trauma; the abuse tarnished my heart did. Thankfully, by having a “fighter’s soul,” I imagined what life in heaven and on earth could be rather than feeling the reality I lived in. The prayers and mantras helped me focus on healing rather than trauma because I wouldn’t do one thing:  “I would not become my perpetrators.”  I never did.

Caged Within A Story

I’ve never met a strong person with an easy past. Like many others, I was born into an unsafe environment where I learned to be invisible by hiding in plain sight. I did that so well even I couldn’t find myself for decades. Fear fueled my life so much that by age 3, I earned a Ph.D. in hypervigilance.  I survived by mustering up massive amounts of gumption, horse sense, inner wisdom, and wit while allowing my part Irish, redheaded stubbornness to help me withstand two decades of abuse.

During those times, my daydreams were full of nature, cougars, cats, and eagles while I laid on Mother Earth. My daydreams were nice; reality was not. My heart-achingly fluttered when I opened my eyes each morning because I knew I would spend my day paying extreme attention to everything occurring around me.  Each passing second had to focus on safety as I vigilantly watched for any hint of anger in the ethers that could morph into emotional, verbal, and physical abuse – again.

My life contained many beautiful flower-buds of lessons, blessings, and gifts that sweeten my bitter beginnings. Years later, as I began to transform consciously, I began releasing my horror stories while reminding myself how strong I am and how much I’ve healed.  Both good and bad have value. Bet your mind is swirling around that statement a bit!  Maybe you’re thinking, “does this lady know what she’s talking about? How can physical, emotional, and sexual abuse be a blessing? Has she lost her mind? (I did, by the way, lose my mind. But not in the fashion you may be thinking. More about that later).

Stay with me for a moment. Close your eyes and open your heart and mind. Trust what I say. Consciously, meaning by choice, ponder how freeing it would be to re-think your life events and choose what parts of your story should be released. Is it possible your thinking may have become a bit rigid from repetitive programming?  Do you find yourself craving stillness from your chattering mind?  Is your favorite, all-time wish to have everyone go away, shut up, and leave you alone?

Stick around because Sassy Part 2 – “The Main culprit of the Bully-Brain,” will be revealed tomorrow.

Dr. Deb

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